Written by Mark Holman
Sound - Digital Waves Recording
Andy Pow - Sound Engineer
Mark Holman - Keyboards, vocals
Bob DuRocher - Bass guitar
Ricky Sparks - Lead guitar
Jeff Cooney - Percussion
Tom Mohler - Rhythm guitar
Just when I thought my life had turned topsy-turvy or more succinctly
rock bottom, I found a way to endure through someone’s help. What
happens when you reach the ledge of sacrifice to discover a sprawling
abyss? How does one avoid the sure fall into the unknown and
uncomfortable? Why should there be such a risk?
I wrote Just When I Thought in 1997 as a result of meeting someone I
thought I would marry. It is a long story but after the Blue Opal, Brown
Goddess and O Isis adventures, I was completely ready to make it work
long term with someone I felt could be my soul mate. How does loneliness
play into decisions of the heart? Do you just run with it when it feels
right? Most would and I was in the majority. Just When I Thought is that
first breath past infatuation that spreads into romantic possibility. It
is that, am I ready for this? Thank you so much for saving me feeling
that can only come when desperation exceeds rational thought.
The obvious salvation metaphor permeates the song as does life without
the sun which is impossible for life as we know it. Having found
inspiration in one perceived an equal or above due to resources, mode of
cognitive thought, or evolution is a lifeline of hope that is
unexpectedly delivered with no perceived expectations. It is the
Pygmalion reconstruction of a person into an unrealized level of
personal growth.
Just When I Thought extends to the my life depends upon you in an
unperceived one way emotion. Just as the capacity to care extends to
animals it is given to people too. It is getting the attention of those
with the capacity to help that is most difficult.
Is it for the one who screams the loudest? Is it only for the beautiful?
Or is it as Tom Petty puts it, “Even the losers get lucky sometime.”
Whatever it was, the hand was given and I accepted, put my life back on
track, and learned the wisdom behind the loneliness.
